Monday, 29 March 2010
HOT
I recently found these two hotties on Electroqueer
their music is not bad but think i'm slightly in love with them as they are hot twins from south africa mmm..mmm...mmm...
why do hot boys always make my mind go blank :s
x
oh and heres some music by them
Monday, 8 March 2010
Fear of the Mundane
I remember watching Newswipe at least a month ago, the episode was about Fear and destruction a vice which the media often use to lure in potential readers/viewers. The obvious examples of terrorism, knife crime etc. were used, all of which are a scary potential. The thing is it really masks how we feed off the fear to hide away from the mundaneness of life, we leap on the bandwagon to be concerned with something that apparently has a purpose or motion i.e. worry. It makes us justify our world view keeps us talking but also in someways restricts. But mostly it masks the mundaneness of our 'true' existence.
On reflecting on this now I realize how we prioritize things just for this purpose and not just drinking, relationships. This goes back to previous blogs of a breakup in an almost pointless relationship we went out nearly every time we saw each other we even first met while particularly pissed, i saw him more of a one night stand (a first for me). We had very little in common he was doing graphic design - obsessed with image to a disgusting (can't think of a better word) extent - loved general pop music (me liking mainstream as well as random alt stuff)and was generally quite uneasy when he spoke candidly often dressing up things with pointless phrases/ sidelining issues.
So why have i been so hung up over it? why would it matter if i 'broke up' with him?
Sure the ending of it was pretty horrendous but forgiving that theres a nagging 'I want it back' even though he didn't mean much. Ok he was Hot as well but I really think the reason is that i'm a third year student surrounded by work to do i.e. 10000 word dissertation, am with my housemates alot and generally go out too much which at times with housemates can be pretty samey especially in winchester. In need of excitement i need fun, variety something more than writing essays talking to the same people 24/7. And why can't I so glad this week is mostly dedicated to going out with people other then housemates need new blood and need to be away from them again to value them again.
I'm generally scared of mundanity - ME WANT EXCITEMENT
Labels:
awkard blog,
boredom,
boyfriend,
ex,
personal,
winchester
Monday, 1 March 2010
The END OF UNI :(
i have less then 4 months left at university and it scares. Even if anyone raises the question its mostly shouted down with a chorus of boos, shutups and generally negative comments to try to stop the conversation.
I honestly don't know what i'm gonna do my main idea is to work in a pub, but besides being boring i worry i will never get out of it. The other idea is that is to work for a bit of the year then go travelling but have no idea about this at all, where? who with? etc. After that i think i might go on some training courses acting? metalwork? devising work? bussiness?
It's hard to go i want to do THIS because i'm so unsure of my goals and underrate my confidence to achieve any of them anyway. I know i need to build up my confidence and develop my interests, but i don't know what my purpose is.
I might have to make some goals up again for career choices and defiantly book an appointment for career guidance while i can.
x
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