start of a beginning

Just finished my dissertation on tuesday and had quite a good night celebrating it/ few days
2nights out 2 nights in :( 1 theatre trip to see some cool new work at the BAC

So what is there left to do at uni?
1 small essay & a performance one massive 45 minute devised piece which is just about to take over my life for the next 3 weeks

This brings me on to devising and performing group work and my own pieces which i hope to talk about in the next few blog entries.

It feels like the end of uni is near and i don't like it for various reasons but mostly friends, need money, need job have no clearer idea what i'm doing for the rest of the year. But then again i can always think of it of new building blocks to play with :)

The D Word

Dissertation now has one week and 5 days to be completed i'm shitting myself but for some reason my response is to procrastinate the whole day and i have to go home for a few days so the said 1 week 5 days is more like 1week 2 days, if that.

I'm scared of failure as well as ridiculously bored of looking at this screen. When i enter my room i look at it in contempt a prison where your tortured by ridiculously long essays i.e. 10,000 word; and even worse is the subject matter transvestism in contemporary performance, which to be fair seems alluring with interest. However this essay must use deconstruction theory and not only that but one author (Judith Butler) who has been accredited to be one of the most in comprehensive way of writing as well as Derrida who is near impossible to phantom.

Oh God if only I was the only one who felt like this, facebook status's are constantly updated with loathing drivel of word counts, frustation and general bullshit to procrastinate from the horror that truelly is dissertation.

Anyway here goes the final push the last stand against this beast which shall finally be vanquished just in time to enjoy the last month of uni.

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The END OF UNI :(

i have less then 4 months left at university and it scares. Even if anyone raises the question its mostly shouted down with a chorus of boos, shutups and generally negative comments to try to stop the conversation.
I honestly don't know what i'm gonna do my main idea is to work in a pub, but besides being boring i worry i will never get out of it. The other idea is that is to work for a bit of the year then go travelling but have no idea about this at all, where? who with? etc. After that i think i might go on some training courses acting? metalwork? devising work? bussiness?
It's hard to go i want to do THIS because i'm so unsure of my goals and underrate my confidence to achieve any of them anyway. I know i need to build up my confidence and develop my interests, but i don't know what my purpose is.

I might have to make some goals up again for career choices and defiantly book an appointment for career guidance while i can.

x

Music I love

I haven't been up to much of late just ignoring how close it is before i go back to uni and the immanent deadline thats this monday- 800 words out of 2500- some work to do. Should really be in bed but as usual my surfing habits have got the better of me and then I was led to write this as i'm waiting to wash my mouth out from the mouthwash which the dentist gave me - 15 minutes seriously.
Anyhow during my surfing today i made this youtube playlist on my channel. It's a compliation of tunes that I really can't get out of my head.
1. Yeasayer - "Ambling Alp" Secretly Canadian
I saw this on MTV2 yesterday morning i immediatly wrote the name down on my hand in thick yellow feltip so when i had got access to the internet,then heard it on radio 1 on the journey to winchester. Reminds me of a more acoustic Late of the Pier with big drums - which you see in the video. What really stuck me was the nu-rave/surreal beauty with naked women runnning down brown canyon like hills, a black horseman , silvermirror macho men fighting and the singers face adorned on the skyline as liquid went down his face - definatly one of the best videos i've seen in a long while. Something cinematic without being too polished i.e. Lady Gaga.

2. The Good Natured - Warriors
I talked about this girl in another blog but i really can't say a badword about her. This is the first single that really struck me the brazen drum beat mixed with her lyrical poetry about alove story about love long distance. It might seem a bit Kate Nash but listen to the lyrics and the brilliant simplicity of the beat and you'll discover someone that deserves to be big in 2010

3. Ellie Goulding - Under The Sheets [High Quality]
Someone that has already got the accolade of Sound of 2010 is Ellie Goulding though this is the only song of hers that stuck with me i don't think it will be her year but this song which was released last year shows some real potential. Bringing together stamping syth and drum beats from the start with the added twinkle of a triangle making sure it caters for both indie and pop fans. Lets hope that her other singles have just as many hooks and pretty production.

4. Shiny Toy Guns - When Did the Storm begin? [FULL VERSIO
I've loved this band ever since i heard their cover of Stripped, orginally by Depeche Mode, putting the energy and SEX for a 00's take on an 80's classic. This song however is off their second album which for some reason i find impossible to download anywhere and even when i ordered it last year on hmv stocks ran out and there seems to be none since- due to this my only contact with the album is through youtube:( It a shame cus as many fans of The Shiny's know Carah Faye left and was replaced by a girlicious reject and its quite a transformation and a good one at that. The beats are bigger the hooks catcher and though I do miss Carahs's voice I couldn't see this record any other way. The problem still remains though that while the lyrics are good the repetition of lyrics seem to be the mask for awe inducing beats too good to get rid of and not enough lyric ability to produce any more meaningful writing. This is clear in this stand out track with the phrase 'Call my name Answer me where I stand' used as a chorus and counter to the rapping of Binary Finary , this is seen also in Ricochet their first single off the album. This song i feel just gets the emo electro power ballad to the tee brilliantly building up of guitar riffs, storms, weather reports and synth to successive choruses and then to the final explosive chorus which fades off into the next song.

5. Manic Street Preachers This Joke Sport Severed Patrick Wolf
A song/album celebrating the late/missing Manic Street Preachers member remixed b y Patrick Wolf - mess or absolute joy. Without a doubt this is my favourite remix ever it truelly plays with the song - not just giving it a stupid repetitive back beat as in the generic remix - but actually creates its own landscape. It maybe too experimental for some, with many broken beats and added bits of anything from violins to rewinded pieces of the original track. Built as a love song to the lost preacher it arouses the sentimental reflective and power which i think most remixs lack or care for.

6. Ou Est Le Swimming Pool: 'Dance The Way I Feel'
This has to be one of the best tunes to put on at an indie clubnight, you can just hear the depeche mode and pet shop boys influence updated with a funky tune that you literally want to dance the way you feel to. Supporting La Roux on her last tour Ou Est hopefully can make it big this year without such screeching vocals which often annoy after time- i mean La Roux surelly can't last much longer.

7. diana vickers jumping into rivers mp3
Quite a cute track from the 2008 XFactor finalist who who has that Dido voice and Imogen Heap melody behind her. Chilled and relaxing her debut single -not this one- coming out this year sometime lets hope it goes further then her ex-lover Eoghn Quigg's shameless attempt.

Happy Listening
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