It's just this anger that sometimes comes why am i not? why aren't you? what are you? a questioning self a governing self that wants better wants more, craves a better. I want self-improvement i want to continue to improve and am angry that i don't do everything that comes to my head, i'm angry that i don't do everything to the best of my ability or screw over my motives by being ridiculously drunk and ruining .
I'm starting a piece at the moment called lifecoach its about failed and often desperate attempts to self improve, become better, be better at everything. The constant critical anaylisis of every move the motive of self and presenting a self. Self evaluation being a terrible, morbid, a torturing existence but it also presents an ability to be as one wants a blank slate. I suppose its also about 'the actor' trying failing and succeeding and failing again at becoming another.
Think i might be going to a class on life coaching for a bit of inspiration, not sure so need to get round creative people again i feel a bit useless with just a pen and paper.
x
