What the fuck was I thinking? My heart's been sinking Down through my stomach, right down to my feet

Patrick wolf -Queen Isabella (She-Wolf of France)on the damaris EP
just a song that just reminds me of bad relationships and my catharsis for the past two days
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The Fall

I'm watched this film twice first of all i didn't really get it i was expecting something else though still loved the visuals. Then after describing it to a housemate I watched it again and saw the charm of it all and it fell --mostly - into place quite nicely.
The thing is it is quite a hard story to pigeonhole - which it may do better for it - but the fact the two central protagonists are so different in age one a 9 year girl (Alexandra-Catinca Untaru)another in his mid twenties (Roy Walker - Lee Pace)confuses me with what target audience they were aiming it at.
The Story sets self around an LA hospital in the 1920's where a stunt man and an inquisitive young Spanish girl meet by chance and start talking. Their relationship develops as Roy tells her a story which he gives in fragments in exchange for certain gifts which Alexandra provides from around the hospital. This becomes quite annoying at times due to the story which he tells being so beautifully shot full of colour, bringing us back back to childhood fairytales of old and it being stopped by events in the hospital. It leaves you wishing the story was just told in its entirety but on second viewing i realize it is important in establishing the story to coincide with the events in the hospital.
Another problem is it starts out as a period piece with a beautiful story but as we learn darker themes are involved the original fairy story changes to much draker affair encompassing suicide, love, betrayal and death. Which leaves an uneasy target audience to woo in .Though i also respect the different approach that Tarsem takes ignoring the commercial aspect of film making - narratively at least - and rather explores immense cinematography which i can see unrivaled in its epic scope. From deserts, oceans, palaces on lakes, gardens, palaces and many other of our worlds wonders including The Taj Mahal which is the backdrop for a shootout with love.

The acting though some maybe a bit shaky Alexandra played by Catinca Untaru is atonishing as the young girl with such natural flare for acting in front of camera. If i were compare her it would defiantly be Dakota Fanning the other child actor that i can stand i.e. not from a stage school where they drain all orginality/ creativity out of you - which i'm led to believe by many annoying wannabes in CBBC/CITV tv etc.

I think anyone who loves beautifully shot, general film making (there being an ode to the silent stuntmen of the period), brilliant acting (all except maybe the princess obviously swyed the casting director with looks rather than any acting creditability)and quirky storytelling should buy or defiantly watch this film.


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V for Vendetta

I finished this book a week ago and have an urge to read it again. I first heard about it through the Wachowski brothers film by the same name in 2005. I loved the shear gritty yet playful touch used with such current issues of fear, terrorism and authoritarian regimes. Written in the 80's it still hasn't lost any of its excitement or power through the years, but if you want to read it make sure you don't watch the film first as the film is quite true to the book with a few additions and edits. I really love it and can't wait to read Watchmen which is also by Alan Moore (story writer). I'm getting into my comic book at the moment i suppose cus i miss the childishness the artwork and ease of it all + there being some amazing stories out there.

Next book MAUS by Art Spiegelman
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Music I love

I haven't been up to much of late just ignoring how close it is before i go back to uni and the immanent deadline thats this monday- 800 words out of 2500- some work to do. Should really be in bed but as usual my surfing habits have got the better of me and then I was led to write this as i'm waiting to wash my mouth out from the mouthwash which the dentist gave me - 15 minutes seriously.
Anyhow during my surfing today i made this youtube playlist on my channel. It's a compliation of tunes that I really can't get out of my head.
1. Yeasayer - "Ambling Alp" Secretly Canadian
I saw this on MTV2 yesterday morning i immediatly wrote the name down on my hand in thick yellow feltip so when i had got access to the internet,then heard it on radio 1 on the journey to winchester. Reminds me of a more acoustic Late of the Pier with big drums - which you see in the video. What really stuck me was the nu-rave/surreal beauty with naked women runnning down brown canyon like hills, a black horseman , silvermirror macho men fighting and the singers face adorned on the skyline as liquid went down his face - definatly one of the best videos i've seen in a long while. Something cinematic without being too polished i.e. Lady Gaga.

2. The Good Natured - Warriors
I talked about this girl in another blog but i really can't say a badword about her. This is the first single that really struck me the brazen drum beat mixed with her lyrical poetry about alove story about love long distance. It might seem a bit Kate Nash but listen to the lyrics and the brilliant simplicity of the beat and you'll discover someone that deserves to be big in 2010

3. Ellie Goulding - Under The Sheets [High Quality]
Someone that has already got the accolade of Sound of 2010 is Ellie Goulding though this is the only song of hers that stuck with me i don't think it will be her year but this song which was released last year shows some real potential. Bringing together stamping syth and drum beats from the start with the added twinkle of a triangle making sure it caters for both indie and pop fans. Lets hope that her other singles have just as many hooks and pretty production.

4. Shiny Toy Guns - When Did the Storm begin? [FULL VERSIO
I've loved this band ever since i heard their cover of Stripped, orginally by Depeche Mode, putting the energy and SEX for a 00's take on an 80's classic. This song however is off their second album which for some reason i find impossible to download anywhere and even when i ordered it last year on hmv stocks ran out and there seems to be none since- due to this my only contact with the album is through youtube:( It a shame cus as many fans of The Shiny's know Carah Faye left and was replaced by a girlicious reject and its quite a transformation and a good one at that. The beats are bigger the hooks catcher and though I do miss Carahs's voice I couldn't see this record any other way. The problem still remains though that while the lyrics are good the repetition of lyrics seem to be the mask for awe inducing beats too good to get rid of and not enough lyric ability to produce any more meaningful writing. This is clear in this stand out track with the phrase 'Call my name Answer me where I stand' used as a chorus and counter to the rapping of Binary Finary , this is seen also in Ricochet their first single off the album. This song i feel just gets the emo electro power ballad to the tee brilliantly building up of guitar riffs, storms, weather reports and synth to successive choruses and then to the final explosive chorus which fades off into the next song.

5. Manic Street Preachers This Joke Sport Severed Patrick Wolf
A song/album celebrating the late/missing Manic Street Preachers member remixed b y Patrick Wolf - mess or absolute joy. Without a doubt this is my favourite remix ever it truelly plays with the song - not just giving it a stupid repetitive back beat as in the generic remix - but actually creates its own landscape. It maybe too experimental for some, with many broken beats and added bits of anything from violins to rewinded pieces of the original track. Built as a love song to the lost preacher it arouses the sentimental reflective and power which i think most remixs lack or care for.

6. Ou Est Le Swimming Pool: 'Dance The Way I Feel'
This has to be one of the best tunes to put on at an indie clubnight, you can just hear the depeche mode and pet shop boys influence updated with a funky tune that you literally want to dance the way you feel to. Supporting La Roux on her last tour Ou Est hopefully can make it big this year without such screeching vocals which often annoy after time- i mean La Roux surelly can't last much longer.

7. diana vickers jumping into rivers mp3
Quite a cute track from the 2008 XFactor finalist who who has that Dido voice and Imogen Heap melody behind her. Chilled and relaxing her debut single -not this one- coming out this year sometime lets hope it goes further then her ex-lover Eoghn Quigg's shameless attempt.

Happy Listening
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The Sugar Diet

Teeth operation day:
-Mouth still numb - put it like this if I tried to snog you my lips would go in any direction they wanted and you'd have a big pile of slobber on your face.
-My mum is making fish pie, it smells so good but i'll have to wait a few hours before i can sample her efforts.

Overall i'm feeling rather odd, my Mouth feels like i've got a lip transplant from Pete Burns

But i have this werid sense of optimism that somehow this year may finally completly turn my world to the better. Thats only if i don't give up - this comes an hour from the dentist saying you need to give up sugar otherwise you won't have any teeth left - scary stuff. So it really is make or break.

Just looked up if alcohol has much sugar in it. It doesn't but:
'the sugar content in most alcoholic drinks, including beer, can really damage your enamel. Some beverages, such as sweet wines or mixed drinks involving sodas or citrus juices, can be even worse, adding a high acidity to the equation.'
So no nice tasty alcoholic beverages for me then :( As well as this I need to look up every type of shot to make sure it doesn't contain sugars. Better get looking up

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And another thing...

I always take things to heart or almost always - almost like my imagination helps create paranoia. I really need to chill for a bit, not take things so seriously for frig sake smile and think positively. I know at least two of my friends where this situation is needed desperately i take things way too seriously things go over the top i get wound up and things get a bit messy.

I just hope I have the determination to do so
Scratch that
I know I can do this

I think maybe all these ideas and ideologies are going to my head leading me to go too preachy on them. I know no one likes a preacher least of all me

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Me and Jesus or Jesus and I

I have been thinking alot about what to do after university - which mostly means working in a pub/ dreaming of something creative to do in my spare time.

Today i had the idea of doing A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures by Chris Waitt style documentary about being the Messiah. As Christians believe in a second coming of Jesus and Jews are still waiting for their Messiah to turn up I wondered if these religion have procedures in practise just in case of such an event. As religion tends to be about this aim surely they have something to do when their saviour comes. Or How do you distinguish who really is the son of God? And How do that I am the Son of God or not?

After researching this subject over 20 minutes now i've become slightly annoyed with the preachy-ness -well durr they're gonna be - of the articles i'm reading and remembering the 'fear of God' that i've battled through after declaring i'm an atheist.

The thing is i was a Catholic at one point, went to a Roman Catholic primary and secondary school. Went to Church every Sunday and Sunday school from age 5 to 11. Prayed to God when I felt bad or wanted something. Hardly ever read the bible. I was given Confession, Communion and Confirmed.

The time I gave it up was when I went to see a Councilor and confessed to my nightmares of God and Satan fighting inside my bedroom. - was defiantly given too much cheese when I was growing up - He then told my Parents and I stopped going to church as much because I had an excuse - it was ruining my mental health - Now i'm not sure how true this statement actually is but I know I have a very strong Super Ego/Conscience which often guilt trips me into doing things I would rather not.

I'm looking at what I've written and realize how much religion has formed me and is a big part of my identity whether I like it or not. One things for sure I need to explore it.

So...Good Idea for a documentary Me and Jesus + how do you identify if you are Jesus or not. Interesting idea maybe slightly juvenile and comic in its naivity.

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